Two. {On Acting 30}

For the first time in as long as I can remember, I am up – awake – before my kids.  Nevermind that baby girl “woke me up” with her crying and then wonderfully and peacefully (and thankfully) went back to sleep.  What matters is that I’m up.  And that I’ve already done a load of laundry, threw away 3 pairs of my husband’s holey underwear (which I will replace with brand new ones I buy at the store), and actually folded what came out of the dryer.  Things are changing around here.

Recently, I’ve been needing to give myself pep-talks.  Mothering/wifely pep-talks.  They usually go something like this:

Rebecca.  You are almost 30.  You are a mother and a wife.  That laundry pile on the floor is your responsibility.  No one is going to do it for you.  Those dishes in the sink?  Yep, that’s your job, too.  Get off your iPhone and get something homemakerish done, my friend.

And that usually works.

Y’all – my mom was the master homemaker.  So much so that she took care of our zones, too.  Our bedroom, our bathroom, our schedules.  She actually called the doctor’s office BEFORE our birthdays to schedule that annual checkup.  My daughter is still waiting for me to pick up the phone and schedule her 18 month check up.  (She’s 21 months).  Besides the few times a year my mom would lose it and find everything I owned that wasn’t in it’s right spot and pile it in the middle of my floor, life was taken care of for me.

My mom lives 8 hours away.  But I have a sneaky suspicion that even if she lived next door, she wouldn’t be my house fairy anymore.  Sad realization.

This get-yourself-into-adult-life started yesterday as Jonah was walking down our hardwood stairs and yelled, “Mom!  Come carry my blankie so that it doesn’t get dusty.”  Oops.  My 3 year old is noticing the dust on my steps and is afraid of getting it on his lovie.  I want my children to remember their mother as I remember mine.  And their house as something able to be lived in.  Not perfectly clean, but able to hold blankies on the floor without fear.

Anyone else think this adult thing is hard?  I just looked up “how to remove rust from clothes”.  Because the fact that our washing machine is leaving rust stains on most of our clothes feels like another attack on my mothering skills.  But I won’t waver.  I have Google as my weapon … so bring on the challenges!

Ultimately, I want to RELISH is being a wife.  In taking care of my home.  I want to do it all with joy.  I want to smile lovingly at my son when he pees on my leg.  And kiss my husband on the cheek after he leaves out every dish from breakfast.  This is my responsibility.  Not a burden.  But a chance to show my family that I care about them and the pile of dust that they live in.  To show God that I want to take good care of the things and people He has entrusted me with.  To show myself that I’m ready to turn 30 in March.

I want to serve my family as if Jesus himself was here – in my home.  Because I hope He is.

I am no longer a college student with my only cares being exams, boys, and weekend plans.  Which at the time felt so important and LIFE-CHANGING.  Now, I have two sets of eyes looking up to me as if I were Super Woman.  So, after swallowing a spoonful of grace, I’m going to give it my best effort.

I’m going to act 30.

{Thank you blog post for the tiny escape from the laundry and dishes.  I will now resume my previous motherly activity… breakfast.}

{ 4 comments… add one }
  • Emily September 28, 2012, 9:29 am

    this is just what i needed to read this morning, I read it from my iphone in bed 🙂 i did not do my job very well yesterday, and i was frustrated with roy for not helping me with MY job.
    new attitude today

  • Kara October 1, 2012, 6:26 am

    How did our mom’s do it all?? I still say “I want to be like my mom when I grow up.” I want so bad to be like her but I can’t seem to figure out how she always had so much energy to cook, clean, and volunteer all before I even woke up in the morning:) Maybe we can figure out the secret together. I just want my children to look up to me as much as I idolize my mom:)

  • Julie Sancken October 1, 2012, 5:46 pm

    OH girl… lately, I have been doing the same thing! Just setting a to-do list every day, trying my best to get it done, but knowing that balance is key. Kids are ever changing, their needs are ever changing, and every day will more than likely be different! 🙂 But we can do this!

  • Jos @ Joyful{in}Chaos October 9, 2012, 12:20 pm

    Yup…this is SO what I’m going through right now. I’m actually taking a “vacation” from my part time job so I can get caught up on life. {And to be clear – day 2, and it’s not really working!}

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